WORDS OF APPRECIATION FOR SURVIVAL AND SUCCESS
Dr. Tesfa G. Gebremedhin
West Virginia University

How much appreciation do our children receive from their parents? We have observed huge increases in negative influences on our children now more than those of our generation. We failed to realize how much stronger our children can be with a good dose of appreciation coming to them. Children are often delighted with a range of appreciation that is received from parents as rewards like: “Well done! Good job! You can do it! You can make it! I am proud of you!” These words are not pep talks rather they are words of sincere appreciation. It is human nature that each of us from all walks of life craves to be appreciated from time to time for some reasons. Children, in particular, need to be appreciated in order to build their self-esteem and enhance self-worth as a foundation for life.

What percentage of our words to our children is positive and appreciative? How much time do we spend as a family and community saying and doing positive things together? One of the most powerful influences we can make upon our children is what we say with the power of our words. Our positive words can be the best reward and blessing and our negative words can be the worst tool of torment and agony to our children. Our words of appreciation can create the good feelings and trust with our children. With appreciation, children grow up with positive sense of self identity and they are less vulnerable to peer pressure to get in trouble. Without appreciation, children suffer from negative distorted self-image and do not possess own strength and power. As Bill Cosby elaborated, nothing we ever try to do will give us more joys and rewards than being real parents to our children and spend more time with them for support and encouragement and appreciate their wonderful activities in life. Obviously, whatever we do to them when they are young and vulnerable they will do the same thing to their children and community when they grow up and hopefully when they become parents.

We can learn a good moral lesson from an interesting story by an unknown author. The story tells that at one time there were a bunch of tiny frogs that arranged a running competition among themselves. The goal of the race was to reach the top of very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. As the race began, honestly, no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. Some discouraging statements were heard from the crowd such as, "They will never make it to the top” or saying: “Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high and the frogs are too weak!" As the race continued, the tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one, except for those very few who were still persistently climbing higher and higher towards the top of the tower despite the crowd continued to discourage and make them give up hope. The crowd was still saying, "It is too difficult for the tiny frogs! No one will make it!" As they become more discouraged more tiny frogs got tired of the noise from the crowd and gave up, but one tiny frog continued higher and higher to the top of the high tower. This one tiny frog would not give up despite the discouraging noise from the crowd. At the end of the race, everyone else had given up climbing the tower, except for this one tiny frog. After a big effort, this tiny frog was the only one who reached the top of the tower. Then, all the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one tiny frog managed to do it while all the other tiny frogs could not reach the top of the high tower. One of the contestants asked the tiny frog how he had found the stamina to tolerate the yelling crowd and how he found the strength to succeed and reach the goal. Unfortunately, it turned out that the winner was deaf and did not bother to hear the noise from the crowd. This tiny frog concentrated only on the race and the discouraging noise from the crowd apparently did not hold him back from accomplishing his dreams and goals.

The winning frog is not different from the other tiny frogs. This tiny frog kept on running and was successful in the race because he, being deaf, was not bothered by the toxic words coming from the crowd. The moral lesson of the story is that it is important to never listen to other people who tend to be negative or pessimistic because they can take your most wonderful dreams away from you, the ones you have in your heart you wish them accomplished. As Winston Churchill indicated, “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity while the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” It means that any difficulty our children may face in life gives them a good opportunity for overcoming that difficulty and becomes the good source for learning and enhancing their careers. We need to find something to appreciate and comfort our children, particularly during a difficult situation. As parents, we need to watch out our actions and the words that come out of our mouth. We have to understand that our words and actions can impact either positive or negative influences upon the lives of our children. Positive influences cause them to notice opportunities to pursue their goals and achieve success. Negative influences cause them to notice problems and sabotage their success and happiness. We must be aware that our children are the sum of what we, as parents, contribute to their lives and career through encouragement and support. It is fair to say that it is not totally their aptitude, but our parental attitude towards them, that determines their altitude in their life.

Quality in parenting is not what we put into it; it is what our children get out of parenting. It is not the kind of food, clothing or shelter that we provide, but it is the kind of values, trust, respect, dignity, and integrity that we teach our children that matters most. Our children can comfortably appreciate their parents when every household and every community takes the responsibility, irrespective of their political ideologies and social affiliations, to establish communities where our children can meet and know each other and learn about their cultural heritage and ethnic identity from our professionals and scholars. Children always want opportunities to learn, grow and develop from seasoned mentors of the community. They want access to mentors who can pass along their wisdom of life and career experiences. If we, Eritreans in Diasporas, really wish to create peace and harmony in our current community situations and religious institutions, we must begin with our children to come and work together for their survival and success. Be aware, our children are at risk inflicted by our senseless virus attack.